Lyrics: Northern Birds

If you go to Bolton,
If you go to Manchester or Crewe,
Newcastle or Scarborough,
York or Scunthorpe, Bradford, Barnsley too,
Or Grimsby.
Listen up to what we have to say.

Northern birds are lazy, ugly whores, who smell of burgers,
So don’t have too much to drink,
Or you might fuck one,
And end up getting AIDS.

There’s nothing fun,
To be found up the M1,
Northern birds are lower class,
Slags who take it up the arse.

They’re in the sack,
After one cider and black,
But they’re fucking awful rides,
And your dick won’t touch the sides.
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Northern Birds
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If you really have to go up North,
Then follow our advice.
Fight away the women,
Or you’ll find yourself with pubic lice,
And herpes.
You’re much better staying in the South.

Northern Birds are desperate, ugly, hippos, dressed in Burberry,
With a peanut for a brain,
And an accent,
That makes you want to die.

Now, you’ve been warned.
They’re all physically deformed.
Northern birds are all obese,
And they’re riddled with disease.

Try to escape.
Northern sex is worse than rape.
Stay down South, and mark my words,
Steer well clear of Northern Birds.
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Northern Birds
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Northern Birds